Posts
All the articles I've posted.
Maybe.
SubstackI fought back tears and growing panic as I said to my therapist, “ok so I know it’s a super low risk but my fear is that I will be one of those few people who gets that rare side effect and it will…
Childless or Child-free?
SubstackThe other day, my dental hygienist made small talk as she cleaned my teeth: “so, do you have any kids?” “Nope,” I sputtered through a mouthful of dental instruments, and quickly changed the subject…
"If it Warms Up, it Can't be a Stress Fracture"
SubstackAnd other things I've found to be all wrong about bone injuries
This is the hard part.
SubstackA week after my stress fracture diagnosis, I crutched around Leadville 100, putting on a brave face (ok, failing but trying). Many wonderful people came up to me and said something along the lines of…
So this is 40
SubstackMy dad's 40th birthday is emblazoned into my brain: the black decorations, the cake napkins that read "over the hill," the tombstone cake topper, the constant jokes that he was officially old. To an…
Please believe me
SubstackAn hour after I arrived at the residential treatment facility in Carlsbad, I asked a staff member where the restroom was. “I have to go with you,” she said. As I started to enter the daisy yellow…
Broken Femur, Broken Heart
WordPressThe other week I started writing about the feelings that came with my most recent stress fracture. As with any injury, my mind replayed all the reasons, all the decisions, everything that I could…
Eggs on Ice: My Experience with Egg Freezing
WordPressIn February of this past year, I had a moment of panic. I was 37, recently single, and facing down the realization that if I wanted kids, my window may be passing. I wrote an entire piece for Outside…
Running and Competing While in Eating Disorder Recovery
WordPressIn a journal entry from December 2018, I asked myself: “Can I be an athlete AND be in recovery from an eating disorder?” The rest of the page was blank. I didn’t have an answer. And not having the…
Reflections on a Year in Recovery
WordPressIt’s been a year since I was discharged from Opal Food and Body after entering intensive eating disorder treatment for my third and hopefully last time. A year since I hit publish on a blog where I…
Navigating Eating Disorder Recovery During a Global Pandemic
WordPressAs I chatted with a friend on FaceTime the other week, I made the joke: “I dunno…maybe the silver lining of this pandemic is it will cure me of my e
The State of Things: Fear, Anxiety, and Balancing Mental and Physical Health
WordPressWhen I was 6 years old, if I couldn’t get to sleep by 7:30pm, I would start crying hysterically. I was convinced I was going to die if I couldn’t fa
2019: A Year of Rebirth
WordPressOn paper, 2019 probably looks like a rough year for me. Fractured calcaneus two weeks before the Barkley Marathons (making that four stress fracture
Big’s Backyard Ultra: Just What I Needed
WordPressRunning Big’s Backyard Ultra was a gamble for me: it’s not exactly an easy race to return to as my first ultra in over a year since injury, undergoi
Let’s Talk About Our Feelings
WordPressI was a colicky baby. A temperamental child. I was prone to tantrums, and expressed myself violently through a wide range of emotions. I felt, and I
Where Do I Go From Here? The Ever-Evolving Relationship with Sport
WordPressSeptember is a month that brings up a lot of feelings for me. It’s the start of the championship season for obstacle racing, with Spartan Race World Championships kicking it off. It’s a month for me…
Our Bodies, Our Responsibility, and the Media
WordPress(Content warning: This post contains my thoughts and feelings around my body and pictures of me. There are no numbers, behaviors, or weights.) In ea
The Recovery I Needed
WordPressIn March, after sustaining my fourth stress fracture in the past three years, I wrote that it was time to take a step back and re-evaluate – to stop
Don’t Fight the Water
WordPressWhen I first started swimming, I couldn’t understand why it was so hard. I knew there were probably a million reasons for it (my last swimming lesso
2018: The Year of Letting Go
WordPressSeveral months ago, I had a long conversation with one of my best friends from law school. “Amelia,” she said, “You are really good at holding on to